The Latest Insights from Leading NOW

One of 2013's top stories for women in leadership was to see Mary Barra, CEO of General Motors become the first woman CEO of any auto company! Mary's route to the top is similar in many ways to other Fortune 500 women. Like most F500 women CEOs, Mary:

Resilience - the ability to overcome challenges and turn them into opportunities - may be the new criterion for professional advancement, according to Accenture. A global research study entitled Women Leaders and Resilience: Perspectives from the C-Suite, reports that more than two-thirds (71%) of surveyed senior level executives report that resilience is critical in determining employee retainability during an economic downturn. Moreover, these leaders view women as slightly more resilient than men and are providing their female professionals with programs to develop resilience.

Lipstick, diamonds and Gucci won't advance women in their careers. Nor will useful, but insufficient, advice on work/life balance, resilience or authenticity. Women are given abundant advice on how to look and how to be, but it only gets them so far. There's a not-so-little hidden secret that women aren't being told about career success.

Riding toward our campsite at the head of the Gardiner River in Yellowstone National Park, Vickie points across a valley to the top of a hill. "There’s a Grizzly up there," she says.

A few years ago I sat down with an executive coaching client (let's call her Jeanne) who was a new Director of HR. As we discussed her leadership goals and challenges, Jeanne told this story, "Last week my COO walked into my office and said, 'I've had it with George. I want him fired. Make it happen.'" Jeanne went on, "I wasn't comfortable with the demand, but because the COO is my primary customer, I went ahead and did what he wanted."

You've probably heard the saying, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." In other words, a horse that's led to water will drink only if it's thirsty. While we might be able to guilt a person who isn't thirsty into taking a drink, this saying does hold an important leadership lesson for women. It's this: as a leader we can clearly point someone in the direction of success, performance or achievement, but in the end, the person must be thirsty for success, performance or achievement or no action is taken.

A while ago, as I worked in my home office, a small herd of young deer came over the stone walls. Two entered the yard. A nibble from the ground here, a nibble from the ground there. Delicate steps, ear-twisting listening, noses seeking the scent of danger. Zip, gone a few tips of lily leaves, a few hydrangea leaves, a few rose leaves. After they left, there was no sign that they had been here. No bare spot of grass, no absent frond of lily leaves, no stripped branch of hydrangea or rose. I was struck by how carefully they steward the land from which they take their sustenance - a lesson I try to live daily as I seek to simplify the material part of life.

Christine walked into her coaching session and before she even sat down she said, “I’m very nervous about a conversation I have to have with Jack who is constantly making disparaging comments about his co-workers.”

Fashionistas would have women believe that what we wear, the accessories we use and how we look are keys to executive presence. Why? Because that’s how they sell products - and most of us know by now that women make or influence 85% of all consumer purchases. But in the context of executive presence, this emphasis on personal appearance can lead women astray. Appearance isn’t the same as executive presence. Presentation skills aren’t the sole factor in executive presence. And, further, executive presence is different from personal presence. So what aren't women being told about executive presence.