The Latest Insights from Leading NOW

Riding toward our campsite at the head of the Gardiner River in Yellowstone National Park, Vickie points across a valley to the top of a hill. "There’s a Grizzly up there," she says.

A few years ago I sat down with an executive coaching client (let's call her Jeanne) who was a new Director of HR. As we discussed her leadership goals and challenges, Jeanne told this story, "Last week my COO walked into my office and said, 'I've had it with George. I want him fired. Make it happen.'" Jeanne went on, "I wasn't comfortable with the demand, but because the COO is my primary customer, I went ahead and did what he wanted."

You've probably heard the saying, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." In other words, a horse that's led to water will drink only if it's thirsty. While we might be able to guilt a person who isn't thirsty into taking a drink, this saying does hold an important leadership lesson for women. It's this: as a leader we can clearly point someone in the direction of success, performance or achievement, but in the end, the person must be thirsty for success, performance or achievement or no action is taken.

A while ago, as I worked in my home office, a small herd of young deer came over the stone walls. Two entered the yard. A nibble from the ground here, a nibble from the ground there. Delicate steps, ear-twisting listening, noses seeking the scent of danger. Zip, gone a few tips of lily leaves, a few hydrangea leaves, a few rose leaves. After they left, there was no sign that they had been here. No bare spot of grass, no absent frond of lily leaves, no stripped branch of hydrangea or rose. I was struck by how carefully they steward the land from which they take their sustenance - a lesson I try to live daily as I seek to simplify the material part of life.

Christine walked into her coaching session and before she even sat down she said, “I’m very nervous about a conversation I have to have with Jack who is constantly making disparaging comments about his co-workers.”

Fashionistas would have women believe that what we wear, the accessories we use and how we look are keys to executive presence. Why? Because that’s how they sell products - and most of us know by now that women make or influence 85% of all consumer purchases. But in the context of executive presence, this emphasis on personal appearance can lead women astray. Appearance isn’t the same as executive presence. Presentation skills aren’t the sole factor in executive presence. And, further, executive presence is different from personal presence. So what aren't women being told about executive presence.

I recently read a book in which the author claims that changing a culture is like turning an aircraft carrier. I frankly think his simile totally misses the mark. For starters, an aircraft carrier is quite nimble for its size and turning it is actually quite simple. The Junior Officer of the Deck (JOOD) gives orders to the helmsman (who controls the rudder) about the direction of the turn and to the lee helmsman (who controls the engines) about the speed of the turn.

In the quiet of a Sunday afternoon, I savor the book descriptions in my Bas Bleu catalog. One title in particular jumps off the page. Sprezzatura: Fifty Ways Italian Genius Shaped the World.

Leadership isn’t something you wait to do when you become a CEO. Lead now or forever hold your place!

Darn, there it is again -- the pervasive advice that 50% of what you need to succeed in business is people skills. This time in a column written by famed executive coach, Marshall Goldsmith. He wrote: "...your people skills often make the difference in how high you go. Who would you rather have as a CFO? A moderately good accountant who is great with people ...or a brilliant accountant who's inept with [people]... The candidate with superb people skills will win out every time, in large part because he (e.a.) will be able to...lead." Oddly enough, these stories refer over and over again to "he." Hmm, could there be something about this formula that works for men, but not for women? Most assuredly!